Things I Learnt Hanging Curtains

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The first thing I learnt while hanging curtains is that I suck at hanging curtains.

I thought it would be easy.

It was not.

It took me 4 trips to Wilko, two hours of fiddling and one very ’80s ‘how to’ video just to get them up.

And now I daren’t even pull them closed in case they fall down.

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But, alas, they are up.

And I’ve heard the first step to being good at something is being sucky at something-

Not that I ever want to hang another pair of curtains in my entire life, but you get the point. 

Maybe this is a metaphor for life.

Or maybe not.

Maybe they’re just curtains.

Awful, awful curtains…

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But I like to think my profound inability has taught me a lesson- and every night as I slowly close them with the fear of breaking everything, I am reminded-

Yes, they are crooked and squint and precarious; but they are still curtains.

I still got them up no matter how terrible.

They still function no matter how poorly.

(That’s a lie, they barely function-just look at them!

But it makes me feel better so just go with it)

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Anyway, here is what else it taught me:

• Buy more rings and hooks that you think you need. You will need more. It will save you multiple trips to the shop. I went four times before I could get them up, and I was served by the same person every time…

• Keep hold of the string. You can’t get it back.

• Videos will make it look so much easier that it is, but I do recommend watching them . (It doesn’t have to be one from the ’80s but it will make it more entertaining.)

• You can get curtains poles that you don’t need to drill into the wall (I had no idea). However, they work better for lighter curtains, i.e not the ones I got.

• Maybe get your mum to do them. She’ll do a better job and it will save you getting annoyed. And then every time you stand in your kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, you won’t have to look at the crookedness of your terrible job

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Happy hanging!

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